Self-evaluating My Communication Effectiveness

After conversing with one of my colleagues and my husband, I find that there are some similarities with regards to how I view myself as a communicator and how they both view me as a communicator. I believed that I am an effective communicator with regards to having a great understanding and implementing the following areas of communication in general: self-monitoring, self-presentation, understanding the existing contexts, being able to accurately decode the other communicators message, being cultural responsive, practice active listening and seeking to learn and achieve understanding of the other person’s position. One of the common statements from both my colleague and my husband is the fact that sometimes my ability to communicate effectively is impaired, because I am always multitasking. I do certainly believe this to be true, but to have them both provide me feedback on the same item (“dangers” of multi-tasking) gave me a reality check and has caused me to do some self-evaluating in terms of me making an attempt to prioritize all the demands and responsibilities that I have on my plate.

                I find that I have a deepened understanding on how my perceptions of other can great enhance or cripple my ability to communicate effective. Similarly through this week I have learned how the process of schema is a critical component in communications. According to O’Hara & Wiemann, “To send and receive messages that are appropriate, you must be able to process information in a way that makes senses to you but also high likelihood of being accurately perceived by others,” (p. 38). I further believe that being aware of the dangers of selective perception will only enhance my ability to effectively communicate to my parents, staff and my family members. I find that being aware of how I process message that sent to me or “decoding” will be an ongoing area that I strive to master as each person that I may come in contact with will vary in their ability to communicate. I do believe that understanding the challenges with schemas and perception will assist me in building meaning relationship with my family and staff members, community partners and child care committee members.

References:

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction (2nd Ed.). New York:          

Bedford/St. Martin’s Press

Communicating Strategies

I must admit that this course has deepened my understanding and enhanced my ability to effectively communicate with my child care center’s families, colleagues, and child care board members. The information I have obtained over the past few week have also enhanced my ability to community with my spouse and close family members. I find that I am making an earnest and conscious effort to understand the context of any given situation. I also believe that I am being more aware of how others would like to be treated and to be slow to respond and focus more on my ability to listen and understand the other person’s perspective.  The three strategies that I would like to achieve when striving to communicate more effectively towards the groups mentioned above are as follows: (1) Consider the Platinum Rule when interacting with other communicator, (2) Be culture aware and responsive to the other communicator, (3) Be an active listener and make an effort to understand the position that the other communicator is conveying in their speech.  

Everyone Loves Raymond

After reviewing the television episode Everyone Love Raymond- in Italy, without the sound, it appeared that the relationship between Raymond and his wife Deborah was very disconnected and it appeared that there was a lot of tension between the two of them until the end of the episode. Deborah appear to often point, yell and walk away from Raymond in a middle of their conversations. The couple and extend family appear to be planning a trip to Italy and Raymond did not seem to please or cooperative in the planning process of this family vacation. Raymond appeared to be very frustrated, physical sicken and sad around his wife, Deborah until the end of the episode when thy both appeared to be very affection with each other, (as if they had “made-up” and rekindled their love for one another). Raymond and Deborah appeared to be very caring towards their children often smiled and acted remotely relax around them. During the episode, Raymond’s brother appeared to be very reserved, disengaged from the family and appeared to be more concern with the women he was with through the show. Raymond’s mother appeared to be very affection, and smiling at all members throughout the show except her husband. It appeared that Raymond’s mother and father had a “roller coaster” relationship with each other by going back and forth between arguing and then seen holding hands and smiling at each other latter in the show.

After reviewing the episode Everyone Loves Raymond with the sound on, it was evident that the relationship between Deborah and Raymond’s mother wasn’t always as affection and kind based on Deborah’s response when she learned that Raymond’s mother was also inviting her to family vacation to Italy that she was paying for. It would have been very helpful to truly understand the dynamics between Raymond and Deborah relationship with Raymond’s mother. It was also evident that he relationship between Raymond was very tense and disconnected, but only has a direct result of underlying tension that exist between Raymond’s family and his wife Deborah. It was obvious that tension between Deborah and Raymond’s family exist, but since I had not been keeping up with the show, the exact cause was unknown.  I believe that Raymond’s brother was disengaged from the family because no one in the family took and sincere interest in him as individuals or care about the feelings he appeared to have towards the woman he was with through the show. It was evident that the existing stressors between Raymond and Deborah derived from Raymond’s side of the family. Both Raymond and Deborah were actually having a hard time through the show being fully engage and with Raymond mother as she appeared to be very controlling.

Iyanla Vancant vs. Relational Context

The celebrity and spiritual life coach, Mrs. Iyanla Vancant is the host of Iyanla Fix My Life. In each episode/ session with the families she voluntarily coaches, she exhibits a sense of competency in the communication area of relational context. According to O’Hair and Wiemann, (2012), a communicator that communicates from a relational context, access the appropriateness of their feelings in a particular circumstance to the individual they are directing their lines of communication. Iyanla consistently encourages people to first evaluate the relationships they have with themselves before mending and/or healing the relationship they have with others.  I particularly like how she helps individual truly define their relationship with the other involved person  based on their history and future expectations.  I would like to adopt many of the hands on activities she encourages the individuals and families she works with to participate in. The activities she elects to implement as tools for self reflection, digging at the underlining issue “what is going on beneath the surface”. 

Below is a link to a you tube clip for a better insight to Iyanla Vancant style of being competent in the communication area of relational context.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDCV0Qiq-N4