Managing Conflict

According to O’Hair &Wiemann,(2012) it is extremely important for early child care professionals to understand the existing differences between productive conflict and unproductive conflict. I recently experienced an example of unproductive conflict with a child care committee board member, (who also happens to be the pastor of the church I am employed with).  She asked to meet with me in order to address some concerns she had and I hesitantly agreed to meet with her because she often demeans the productiveness of center, staff and this me as a Director. Consequently, while expressing her concerns to me she began to verbal assault me by calling me names. I was completely shock and taken off guard, because I did not expect for someone in her position act or speak in such a manner. I advised her that I would never talk to her and that I did not appreciate her talking to me the way she did and that I strongly disagree with how she was trying to characterize me. She told me that I needed to stop talking and listen. She continued outlining her concerns about my writing style with regards to stating “this Director” in announcements she demanded that I state “the center”. I made an attempt to explain to her that my writing style is a habit and that I have changed it my many cases to state “the center”. She told me that I need to speak graciously to her and others, that when rescheduling meetings with the bookkeeper, I need to speak graciously with her. She stated when I have an emergency involving the center and if it causes me to be delayed in attending meetings with a person, I need to have someone go and tell the person who it waiting for me or go and explain the emergency to the person waiting to speaking with. I explained to her that the center was extremely low in staff members on that day and she stated that she did not care and that I needed to fix it. She then told me to have a good day.

                I believe that there are so many areas in the above conflict that need to be corrected and should have not occurred form the beginning. I have never experienced that level of planned out verbal abuse from supervisors or a pastor or a child care committee member before. I believe that if she had any concerns about the center, or me as a director, she should have gone through the proper channels. The chairperson of the committee should have meet with me with her and another board member should have been present. I feel like she took the opportunity to degrade me and verbal assault with one else present so she could perhaps get away with doing it and she mostly thought I would not do anything to stand of for myself or demand respect since she had gotten away with talk with to me before in such a way. Nevertheless, when she told me to have a good day, I told her to have a good day as well. I then called another board member and explain the incident that had occurred and she stated that name calling is unacceptable and that a big meeting would need to occur with the pastor’s supervisor, (vestry chairperson).

 I know that most people would have walked, especial being pregnant, but I fell like why shouldn’t I suffer as result of her actions.

I believe that the first strategy, I will use it to remain respectful to her and responsive to my professional responsibilities.  I will not tolerate her to verbal assault me again by respectfully stating that meetings may not occur between us unless someone else is present. I would also be willing to use a cooperative strategy once guidelines of communication have been established, (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012).

The Assistant Director stated that I should try and avoid her as much as possible, especial since I am pregnant. Although, I can appreciate her caring about my well-being and health, I believe that implementing an escapist strategy would not be productive, especial since I work in the same environment as her.  

References:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:

Bedford/St. Martin's